Evite. Evite, Evite, Evite. Evite has replaced phone calls and e-mails and letters as the new way to invite people to an event via the internet. Now, instead of the burden of actually calling or e-mailing your friends to invite them to something, you can simply blast out 200 invitations with absolutely no effort. Now instead of struggling to make room on their schedule for your party, friends can know the truth that your invitation had about as much forethought as a single click of the mouse. The real beauty of Evite is that people can go online and see the list of 200 other names, none of which they know, and feel even more special to have received what amounts to another piece of spam.

Oh, thank you Evite, for you have made my life so much more interesting. Now, instead of feeling guilty about declining invitations to social events, I can rest assured that they really don't care who shows up. Heck, the venue for the invitation can only hold 30 people, so I'm really doing them a favor by trimming down the list.

Thank you, Evite, for you have made it possible to reach the pinnacle of impersonal communication. Indeed, I can Evite people I don't even know. I can Evite people I don't like. All with the same ease as Eviting my closest friends. With five minutes of effort I can organize a party for 3000000 people...oh thank you Evite.